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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Win!

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  but it's kind of a high honor.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  the only muscles i have these days is kegels

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.

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• (585): View more from New York

  The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club

  (716): View more from New York

  You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP

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• (845): View more from New York

  I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".

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