i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
