Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
