The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize