what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
