Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
