Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
