Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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