Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I wear drunk well.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
