There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize