fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
