Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
