I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
