She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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