I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i will never coherently bang her
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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