I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
