I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize