Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
