I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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