Don't you send me to vm
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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