I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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