dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
MIDGETS
????
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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