I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My balls are so social today.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
