I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
