White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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