Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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