I faked an abortion last night.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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