All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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