Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
