If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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