Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
