Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
