Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
what day is it and did you see me today?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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