Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
