Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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