; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
