One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
