We won't sleep together?
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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