Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
