you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
