You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
