'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize