one might say we're banned from that church
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
it's like iHOP with fire
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
