Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
