honey bunches of taint.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
