You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize