May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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