i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just high enough for therapy.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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