end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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