thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
