did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
