I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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