Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
