he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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