I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
