so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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