Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
