So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
