yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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