She's JV to your varsity
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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