He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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