I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
