i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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