She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
